Category Archives: Gassbagging

The Rise Of The Band 5 Bullshitter!

Band 5 bullshitter is a term first told to me by someone else who also had treatment at Harefield Hospital. It is used to describe a nurse that tells lies.

Bullshit is fairly self explanatory worldwide but some for non UK visitors, please allow me to explain the band 5 bit. Band 5 is the most common pay grade for nurses in the UK.

I personally now use the phrase for any member of NHS staff that tells lies whether or not they are a doctor, nurse, toilet cleaner or the chief executive.

Anyway less of the explanation and more of the celebration. I have managed to get this phrase into the hallowed Urban Dictionary and you can see more here.

This phrase though now applying to the whole of the NHS organisation will always have its roots at Harefield Hospital in Middlesex which is now part of the Guy’s and St Thomas’ NHS Trust.

Nextcloud Does It Again May 2021

It is no secret that I have been a massive fan of Nextcloud since the day it landed.

All of my businesses have had an intranet based on Nextcloud since it came out. It has become a “default deployment”. A very good deployment and time saving deployment too. On the whole users have loved it too.

Here is where it gets interesting. It is interesting watching the way they work. incremental update, incremental update, a major update with some nice new value-enhancing toys to play with and then BAM! Something totally fantastic to really knock that ball right out of the park!

First there was Talk, integrated video conferencing, then integrated office and now this great announcement about Open Project integration! This is all seriously good stuff that is continually making a great product even greater.

The integration is basic so far but the signs are good and the possibilities are endless and amazing.

As I am now retired I no longer need the great project management tooling offered by Open Project indeed my own Nextcloud cloud has become a very personal instance with the Radio component and the music component amongst others installed and quite a few of the more business oriented components removed. However I think I might just install open project on one of my servers and integrate it into Nextcloud just for kicks 🙂

It it always good to see what the team at Nextcloud come up with and I cannot wait for the next announcement!

So well done to Nextcloud and well done to Open Project too. Again I am a fan of Open Project, admittedly I am not as big a fan of Open Project as I am of Nextcloud but I do like and appreciate the project and have been a heavy user of it but I am pleased to see the two products come together. This is good for both products in my opinion and I so look forward to the integration developing further. So my thanks, best wishes and good luck go to both organisations.

Court Guinness Update 03/05/2021

I apologise for the lack of blogs in April. I had a data corruption issue with this site. I also decided to The Club to a new site because of this but also to improve performance of both this site and The Club. The Club is growing nicely but owing to a huge spike in spam registrations The Club is now by invitation only. This assists performance and preserves the high quality of content in The Club. I will repost “brucie bonus” opportunities here.

I have so far resisted the temptation to visit a pub since the easing of restrictions I seriously cannot be arsed to book an appointment to go for a pint for 3. I will wait if I need to for restrictions to be completely lifted.

On this note I have booked for certain events and will book more into the schedule on an as and when basis.

So far I have managed to completely redo my media setup only to change the scope and add to it at the close of the project. Last minute scope creep. Scope. I have managed to add some new toys to it and an additional webserver. I still need to purchase more storage, about another 6TB should do it! Having a dozen favoured old school games consoles with plenty of classic games on tap in from one interface is rather cool and I have finally managed to get to grips with Kodi which is a rather good media tool. I am rather pleased that I added a projector to the kit list as playing old-school Sega Megadrive games on the back wall is a rather cool thing. More Raspberry Pi’s have been ordered! I should have a small “farm” of about 5 Pi’s when the end of the month update comes around.

A number of health conditions have transpired to keep my coding in Python short in April this is down to me sleeping a lot more and not having as much time on my hands.

I am more actively looking at moving house and a number of possible options are under consideration. I do wonder however if I am only the only one that does not like the Right Move website. I have to say I much prefer Zoopla or On The Market. As is usual with these things I am fast getting more than annoyed with estate agents. It is a sad thing that in all my dealings in residential property (and there have been very many) over the years I have only met one estate agent that isn’t a complete and utter fucking cockwomble. I do wish the government would bring in legislation to extinguish this horrible trade and their clip-on ties and polyester trousers. I don’t think I am alone in having these views.

The Trade House is still looking for someone to take it on its next journey. Covid is not assisting the market for businesses such as these.

Thats all for now



Property Required – West Midlands

I require a 2 bedroom property in the West Midlands.

Preferably with good local infrastructure and close to good local and national transport links.

Property must be accessible. Ground Floor access and preferably on one floor.

Please contact me using the form below if you have anything available.

    First Retirement Project Pretty Much Complete

    So the first of my retirement projects is near enough complete. It is up and running and needs some tweaks and of course regular maintenance.

    So what have we got?

    Well we have a nice shiny new built media centre. This comprises a nice widescreen telly with 2 Rapsberry Pi’s attached. One is a web server running some Home Assistant, NetData and some python scripts that I have developed. The second Raspberry Pi contains Kodi and Recalbox. This gives me TV, movies, music, E-book and image viewing and also retro gaming with clones of some old favourites such as the ZX Spectrum, Atari 2600, Atari, ST, Sega Megadrive and SNES. This is a really cool setup and I have added some decent headphones, a soundbar and an external DVD setup. A 2TB hard drive is attached. Finally there are 2 games controllers, a keyboard and mouse.

    So what is left to do?

    Well the 256GB MicroSD card needs to be upgraded to a 1TB one – there are still loads of games, PDF, songs and movies I want to add. More Python and PHP scripts need to be added to the webserver as when I get round to writing them and I could do with adding a Pico style projector for bouncing stuff off the back wall. Home Assistant needs some development work too. In time I should also like to do more with the integration of my Google Home Mini.

    Apart from these nice to haves this project is complete and it is working well..

    The biggest problem I am going to have with this project is deciding which of the 400 or so retro games from 80’s and 90’s I wish to play.

    So the first project is ready. This should keep me quiet for a bit.

    Ultimate Early 90’s Bit Of Kit

    Welcome to my first PDA. The Sharp IQ 7000!

    I found this while clearing out some stuff recently. I am amazed I still had it. What is even more surprising is, that after all these years it still works! What is even more surprising is that if I click on the Memo function, there is a still note there that I wrote in 1992 regarding quite a car smash I witnessed on Balham High Road, London! There are also a few phone numbers that are long out of date. The Ford Dealer listed went bust in 1995 and I have updated the phone numbers for certain friends as they have all long moved on.

    I picked this device up in 1991. It was expensive but I got a good discount through a friend of mine. It came with 32k (yes kilobytes) of memory and the calculator, memo, calendar, diary and contacts modules. You could expand it but these memory cards were very expensive so I didn’t bother with them. It served me well for a few years until a Psion came along. It shows how far we come in 30 years. 32k sufficed back then and this device could swallow all the data I could chuck at it. These days any device I touch needs at least 32 Gigabytes and all my devices have at least a 128GB SD card inserted into the expansion port. This also shows what we now need in terms of functionality. Back in 1991 I probably had about 100 contacts. Up until recently my mobile phone was synchronised with my work CRM system. over 14,000 contacts! I am now back to around 1,000 contacts. My memo files are generally a lot larger now too. I don’t think some of them would fit on this device.

    Between 1991 and 1995 this device was constantly by my side along with my pager and latterly a Motorola 8800 and then a Motola Dynatac flip phone. and it worked very well, managing my life and keeping everything in one place. Mostly living in my jacket pocket or briefcase next to my wallet, passport, paperwork and cigarettes it got knocked about quite a bit too and certainly saw some “action”. However it never once let me down in the field which is more than I can say about some of the devices I have had had since. I am amazed it is working today as I write although it is nagging me for new batteries!

    This was one of the first mainstream PDA devices and although it had its flaws it was a stellar bit of kit. It did show the market how these devices needed to be designed. Sharp left the PDA marketplace a long, long time ago. Based on this device I do wonder what delights they could come up with if they were still in the market.

    I am going to keep this device and it will not be going on Ebay.


    I am rather pleased to be able to announce that the final edition of The Trade House Magazine has won just over 100,000 readers across all channels.

    This is a bittersweet win as I have had to give up producing The Trade House magazine on health grounds. I know that many of you held it in high affection and I still get over 50 calls a week on Trade House Magazine related business. There are so many of you who want to see it return either as readers or advertisers. I am delighted to know that I built something that was enjoyed and useful to many.

    My deepest and most sincere thanks go to every reader who made this fantastic milestone happen.

    I am still looking for someone to take The Trade house Magazine on its next journey and I hope that this can be sorted soon! The next journey for The Trade House is something I so want to see as even I can see it holds quite some value for the business community. As always I am open to all conversations about how it can continue.

    Once again I offer my sincere thanks to all who made this incredible milestone happen.

    With best regards


    Easter 2021 Updates

    Despite retirement it has been a very busy quarter. This website has gained 46,498 visits to date with visitors spending an average of 32 minutes every hour on the site.

    I am taking even more action against Guy’s and St Thomas NHS Trust as more stuff comes to light. Of course I will update you all.

    Retirement is going well and I am not missing the business as much as I thought I would. Plans to relocate abroad are currently on hold, changes to Spanish legislation especially are causing issues and I might have to give the southern Spanish sunshine a swerve. France is still looking attractive, though. The hunt for a UK bolthole is going slowly and I am still smarting from missing out on a Grand Banks yacht last month! The sleeping situation is getting worse and I am falling over more often too. I am considering swapping the mobility scooter for a wheelchair.

    The learning of Python is going ok. Various things going on in March has meant that there has not been as much time as I would like to devote to this. I have however managed to knock a few bugs out of some of my code. As mentioned in other blogs I have invested in Raspberry Pi’s and these are great tools. Some more may be ordered soon! My new media centre is just excellent. With various streaming tools, a good music and media player and some fine retro game emulators it is truly a fun thing to have. I am not a fan of modern gaming systems for example Xbox or the latest PlayStation or their games but I do have a fondness for the old school stuff and I am quickly relearning my Sega Megadrive skills from the early 90’s. My thanks must go to Recallbox for their excellent Raspberry Pi image.

    The club is growing slowly but nicely and could do with new members but I am pleased with growth. I have expanded and uplifted the “Brucie bonus” section to allow members to earn money and do business from various initiatives. This includes document sharing and video conferencing. The Brucie Bonus Update is here along with the opportunity to earn some referral fees. I remind everyone that access to The Club is free.

    I am still enjoying blogging regularly and enjoying the uplift in traffic that this brings. There has been an uplift in the number of pure play blogs posted in the last quarter.

    Here are the most popular blogs from Q1:

    1. How I got big in Lingerie! –
    2. Guy’s And St Thomas NHS Foundation Trust Added To Blacklist –
    3. £10 Million To Sleep With Me and Boris Johnson If You Are Up For It –
    4. Inflatable Roof Racks! You Must Be Joking! –
    5. GSTT Complaint and Investigation –
    6. Ford Mondeo Gone! –
    7. 3 Vs 5 –
    8. An Excellent Prank Call! The Women’s Institute! –
    9. Apparently I Am Having a Mid-Life Crisis –
    10. The Business, Design and Project Methodology To Beat Them All –
    11. Why Does A Tech Guy Use One Of These –
    12. Well, They Want Some Of Us Back! –
    13. 10,693604!!! –
    14. Update February 14 2021 –
    15. Rolling Retirement Blog 24/01/20 – Post Retirement Day

    The Linkgate saga continues. I lifted the Irish IP address bans and they simply returned! Blocks will be put back in place. As always I apologise to Irish visitors who are not involved but are nonetheless blocked. I am enjoying expanding my networks on other social media channels and Linkgate has driven more traffic here.

    I have started booking for events for Q3 onwards and should be available for 1-2-1’s soon. I will update on international travel as soon as the relevant governments sort their s**t out. One trip to Ireland is long overdue as is a trip to mainland Europe. I am hoping for end Q3/early Q4 for both of these. Do keep an eye on this website for updates.

    Lastly the giggle of the month must go to some people doing some work here who were questioned about an incident and gave a totally different version of events to the truth! Thing is the incident was captured on my CCTV so was their giving of their version of events! Muppets! I have taken further action against the firm and individuals involved.

    That’s all for now!

    Thank you for reading

    Best regards


    £10 Million To Sleep With Me and Boris Johnson If You Are Up For It

    Yes, it doesn’t matter if you are male, female, or transgender, gay, straight, bisexual or other. I will give you £10 million to sleep with and have sex with me and Boris Johnson at 9 am 01/04/2021. Larry The Cat has asked to watch.

    The money will be paid  tax-free in used fivers washed in a non-biological solution in a Hotpoint washing machine by accomplished launderers!

    You will also have to do a kiss and tell on Jeremy Kyle’s regular telly show 11 am on 01 April 2021.

    The location is a well-known address in London SW1

    First enquiry gets the gig and the cash!

    Please use the form below to let me know you want the work